Unemployed: Work In Progress

blog? what blog?

2010-06-06T23:39:00.000-07:00

Blog? I don't have a blog... oh wait. Yes I do. Oops. Hi interwebs. It's been a long hiatus. But there have been some big changes in M world. None of which are job related of course. When I finally stop procrastinating about everything else in my life, I'll divulge more. I'm just glad I remembered the login for this website.

-M

:*(

2010-06-02T22:16:00.000-07:00

Yesterday evening was a really hard night for me. I felt really lost and unmotivated and, quite simply, super depressed. This unemployed thing is really getting to me. I have lost my positive power and I don't know what to do. Things are not looking up and I just don't know how much more I can take. Listening to "Total Eclipse of the Heart" on repeat is not helping either, but it just suits my mood these days. It's making me think that maybe the career I'm trying to transition to and pursue is not for me. Maybe I'm more suited for something more simple like a shopkeeper. I feel so lost

-A

Trying Times

2010-05-23T12:54:00.000-07:00

I've been meaning to post this for a month now, but just didn't have a chance to during our little hiatus. So here it is...

Last month was the Coachella Music Festival and I really wanted to go. In my non-money-making status, I wasn't really in a position to purchase $300 tickets to this 3-day concert, however amazing it was going to be. I felt a little pang of jealousy in my heart every time I heard it on the radio, heard somebody talking about going, or even saw someone wearing a T-shirt from years ago. I'll say it again, I really wanted to go!

So on a whim, I signed up to try to win tickets from a local radio station that was giving away tickets if you registered on their website. The chances were small, but I was going to try, darn it, because I wanted to go! As it turned out, I got a call informing me that I won! I was chuffed to bits to hear that I won! I was literally jumping up and down and screaming, I was so happy. I ended up having an amazing time and it wouldn't have happened if I didn't at least try to win the tickets, which is what can be said about job searching. So many times, I am so discouraged and just want to be a lazy bum and not look. The chances are so small; there are so many other people competing for the same job; nobody is hiring, etc. But we won't get what we want and nothing is going to happen if we don't work towards it and just try.

-A

Just let it be

2010-04-05T21:28:00.000-07:00

This is what I've noticed: when I play tennis, my warm-up shots before the match are solid and nicely placed. Yet when I start to play the game, I get so conservative and hit floaters and shots down the middle. I get scared to lose the point and it affects the quality of my game. But when I don't care (like when I'm tired or hungry and all I want to do is end the match) I actually play better and go for the riskier corner shots - with, for the most part, consistent success. So I've been trying to convince myself not to try so hard, just let my natural ability come to play. Because when I start to think about it too much, it works against me.

This applies as well to work sometimes. Last week, I wrote about a horrible day (which kind of expanded to include the entire week) at my internship and I realized that part of the reason was because I was trying too hard. I was trying too hard to impress and thus over thinking things, which I think rubbed my supervisor the wrong way (which is another story with not so nice commentary, but not for this post). So I've decided to take the same approach at work as in tennis. I'm not going to worry too much about doing a good job and will just rely on my natural work ethic and skills, which I have every faith in.

-A

Library

2010-04-04T21:54:00.000-07:00

The library is the greatest thing. I used to buy most of my books, but now that I don't have much discretionary income, I've found getting them from the library is just as great, if not better. If I don't like a particular book, I don't have to lament the $X I spent - I can just return it! This way, as well, I can purchase only the books I really enjoyed to fill my shelves. Also, the DVD section has some good and new selections. So check it out!

-A

Sleep

2010-04-03T22:12:00.000-07:00

These past few days have reminded me just how precious sleep is and how I'm so grateful that during my time off, I am able to sleep an adequate number of hours per night. I've been helping M with her project recently and an early wake-up time is not a good thing for a night owl and acute insomniac like me. But I was happy to do it bc she is my friend and co-blogger - and I will be expecting rides to the airport for life! jk! I'm glad too that I don't usually have to wake up at an ungodly hour for any work, or even for my internship, and that I can still get a decent night's sleep when I go to bed at 3 or 4 am.

-A

frosty cold one

2010-03-31T00:47:00.000-07:00

i didn't have one of these tonight... but i wish i did.

cheers.

-M

Emo

2010-03-30T22:46:00.000-07:00

My goodness, today was a bad day for me. I started an internship recently, and I must say that I hate the first week of a new position. It seemed like nothing I did, was the right thing to do - it was so embarrassing! So I came home to watch a movie to take my mind off of things, but I was so emotional throughout it. Even though I've seen this movie many many times before, I still cried at every single tiny emotional scene. It was good to let everything out through this movie but maybe I should've chosen to watch a comedy...

-A :(

moment of zen

2010-03-29T22:22:00.000-07:00

I shot this on my way to do my taxes. It was a nice moment before dealing with everyone's most dreaded annual chore. The good news it that this year the numbers worked out more in my favor than expected. Thanks Uncle Sam!

-M

Day o' Favorites

2010-03-28T22:02:00.000-07:00

homemade wontons. skateboarding at the beach. smoothie. Moose Tracks ice cream.

-A

Earth Hour

2010-03-27T23:17:00.000-07:00

Tonight I was quite tired, so I planned a lovely night in to watch movies. I did, however, stop my movie in the middle of it to participate in Earth Hour. I turned off all the lights, unplugged everything and sat in the dark. Luckily though, I still had my phone to keep me occupied (it uses battery so it's not consuming energy, right? right). It was nice too knowing that so many other people all over the world cared about the same issues and were doing the same thing as well.

-A

The Long Way

2010-03-26T22:42:00.000-07:00

Tonight, a friend and I were deciding which way to take to get to our destination: the freeway, which probably would've been heavy with traffic, or the coastal highway, which was likely lighter on traffic but a slightly longer route. We decided to take the coastal route and we knew it was the right choice, simply for the fact that we saw the sun setting over the ocean.

-A

Taking flight

2010-03-26T16:01:00.000-07:00

At the beach the other day, a flock of tiny little birds lined the water. They hopped along on one foot; waiting for the ocean to wash some tasty snacks their way. It was definitely strength in numbers. They depended on each other to look out for anyone or anything getting too close to them. If one decided to move north up the beach, one by one, they would all move north. If they could get closer to the breaking waves, they would all hop their way into the water. If one decided danger was too close, one would begin to fly and then they would all follow suit. They took cues from each other and trusted their next move within the group.

We all find strength in numbers. So here's to my flock: Thanks for letting me fly with you.

-M

Blurred Time

2010-03-24T22:52:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I've had to work with a deadline. I have to finish this project I'm working on in the next little while and I have to finish this book I've been reading before I have to return it to the library. This week has flown by because of these deadlines and the fact that I've been working at my part-time job a bit more than usual this week. Well, not so much because of the library book one but it seems like knowing that I have to read the book by a certain date somehow takes the pleasure out of reading my book. I'm making myself read a certain number of pages each night so that I can finish in time.

It's the same with this project I'm doing too. It probably wouldn't cause me such tension in my shoulders and stress and such if I didn't have a time stamp on it, making me work furiously into the night.

Deadlines seem to make time just fly, which seems like an oxymoron because I feel like I'm aware of each hour (bc it's one less hour) that I spend working towards these looming deadlines. It's made me appreciate the leisurely time we have to take things at our own pace and truly enjoy each hour as it passes doing whatever it is we are doing.

-A

Food

2010-03-23T22:54:00.000-07:00

It's a bit sad the things I eat now that I don't dine out as much as I used to (I used to eat out at least once per day). I do not like to cook, so sandwiches, bagels and soup with rice have become staples of my diet. I really must be an abomination to anybody who likes to cook - or eat for that matter. For dinner tonight, I had a bagel with cream cheese and a granola bar. Yum yum

-A

paths

2010-03-23T00:11:00.000-07:00

The other day the sky was crossed with jet contrails in almost every direction. It was almost like the sky was turned into white and blue plaid. All of these ghosted trails meant that thousands of people on their way to various destinations and don't even realize that they had intersected lives with so many others.

Who else do we cross paths with that we are completely unaware of?

-M

Service

2010-03-22T22:03:00.000-07:00

I recently took a part-time job as a banquet server to help me get out of the house and interact with people (and the extra money isn't bad either). Though many times the server has a lot of influence over the dining experience, I find that it helps when people are in turn pleasant, friendly and courteous. It doesn't take much and it's definitely appreciated.

-A

spring!

2010-03-21T23:31:00.000-07:00

You know it's spring when the $1.29 bunches of daffodils arrive at Trader Joe's.

-M

Marathon

2010-03-21T19:09:00.000-07:00

Today the LA Marathon went right by my place, so I went out this morning to admire and envy all the runners, knowing that if I ever tried to run a marathon, I'd be like Simon Pegg's character from 'Run Fatboy Run' but without the injury. I was surprised to see how many people were there on the sidelines just to encourage the runners, clapping and cheering them on by name (their names were on their numbers). It was nice to know that people cared and were supportive of each other. I wish I had a crew of people to follow me around, cheering me on, because lots of times unemployment feels like a marathon and I'm only on Mile 2...

-A

Greystone Mansion

2010-03-20T22:43:00.000-07:00

So I've been hearing about this place called Greystone Mansion a lot recently, so I took it as a sign that I should go and check it out. You can't go inside the actual mansion, but it's a really pretty place with lots of gardens and walking around is a bit like a maze. There seems to be all these paths you can take to explore. It's got great views overlooking the city too. And, definitely one of the perks, is that it's completely FREE! Woo hoo!

-A

Plain Vanilla

2010-03-20T21:45:00.000-07:00

This ice cream post is not necessarily inspired by A's previous post. It is, however, inspired by a recent conversation I had with A. My topic for this evening is vanilla. Vanilla gets a bad wrap. It's seen as plain and boring. But I see it as classic and traditional. Everyone knows what cheap, basic ice cream tastes like. And there is a lot of bad vanilla out there. I had something at the Santa Monica Pier that was mascarading around as vanilla ice cream, but it was nothing more than some kind of frozen trans fat whip scooped into ice cream cone. These types ruin it for everyone. Somehow, people began associating us vanilla connoisseurs as being plain jane, and that we don't want the spice of life. Well, I do. And my spice is vanilla! Tahitian! French! Madagascar! All different kinds of vanilla! No one would fault anyone for saying that their favorite dessert is creme brulee. It's just a fancy name for vanilla custard people.

My point is that sometimes simple isn't always bad. Plain vanilla can be a complex, rich, creamy, buttery delight. It's pure and it's good and always beats your one note, chalky chocolate.

so there.

PS will someone PLEASE open a Culver's in Southern California?

-M

Ode to Ice Cream Cakes

2010-03-19T00:35:00.000-07:00

The ice cream cake is one of the most marvelous creations. No matter if we are 6 (which is when I had my first ice cream cake) or 96, I think we should all appreciate the brilliance of it. It's like killing two birds with one stone! I will forever be grateful for whoever came up with this idea, because it brings me such joy!

Even though this is a shout out to ice cream cakes, I posted a photo of a wedding cake because IF I ever get married, my wedding cake WILL be made out of ice cream - and it will be tiered!

-A

Homey

2010-03-19T00:27:00.000-07:00

Recently, I've been in a homey mood. I've been craving stews, and hearty meals. I can't seem to get enough italian food. It's strange because this is usually a phase for the fall and winter months, not spring and summer. But there is something about the warm, melty, saucy pasta dishes that make me all snugly. I have also been on the hunt for a cozy, old school italian joint that just welcomes you in fun, albeit cheesy, casual dining flare. I think this shot of the amber glowing glasses over the bar seems to perfectly capture the homey warmth I have been searching for. Thanks Luke!

-M

Enjoying the Day

2010-03-17T23:56:00.000-07:00

Today was such an amazingly gorgeous day that I was so glad to be able to enjoy it outside.

-A

a sidewalk morning

2010-03-17T22:32:00.000-07:00

This morning I took advantage of waking up early, and promptly took myself around the corner to my coffee shop. There, armed with my computer, I started working before I'm normally out of bed. I sipped my coffee while basking in the AM sun. I felt creatively alive again. It was a lovely way to start the day.

-M

Buona sera!

2010-03-16T23:39:00.000-07:00

A few years ago, I started to teach myself Italian. I never made it past Lesson 10 because I got too busy with work. But now that I've got the time, I've decided to return to my studies and really give it a go starting today. A domani (see you tomorrow)!

-A

Why wait?

2010-03-16T18:25:00.000-07:00

Today I went to Trader Joe's and stocked up on a couple bottles of what most people consider to be table wines. (even though it was a small step up from Two Buck Chuck.) When I went to pour myself a little happy hour, I felt like the wine was only on the grape vine yesterday. I mean, it was one step away from being Welch's white grape juice. But I still drank it, because hey, it was just a table wine, what did I expect? Well then it got me thinking... I know price is a concern, but why do we generally settle for mediocre to poor for everyday use? We save everything nice for special occasions. I do understand the logic; it makes these occasions more special when you bring out your best. But do I really want to wake up in 80 years knowing that 90% of the wine I drank in my life was crappy?! Maybe the solution is quality over quantity, and remembering that you don't always need the special excuse to bring out the good stuff. No one knows what tomorrow may bring, so why wait?

Skoal!

-M

Workspace

2010-03-15T23:03:00.000-07:00

I'm slightly ashamed to say that this is my desk. I've never been one for a tidy desk, but I always know EXACTLY where everything is on it. It's very random the things you'll find on a desk, it's almost like a little treasure hunt. It's really just another surface to put things on, not so much a place to do work. Thank goodness for the kitchen table...

-A

Take a Hike!

2010-03-14T21:39:00.000-07:00

Along with a ton of other people, I took advantage of this gorgeous day by taking a hike. I actually spent a good part of this weekend in bed (I somehow got a stiff neck! But at least I did some work in bed with my laptop today), but today it was just lovely to be outside. It's the one time in life when it's actually fun to concentrate, when the trail is a bit rocky and uneven, on my next step so I don't trip!

-A

While traveling

2010-03-13T22:15:00.000-08:00

We have had a lot of rain in the southwest this winter. It has turned the desert green with spring. This shot was taken in AZ, somewhere between Phoenix and the CA border. I love the cloud shadows on the landscape.

-M

Animal Love

2010-03-13T17:42:00.000-08:00

I went to a pet adoption place today, and playing with all the cats and dogs just made me so happy! It's lovely how much happiness and joy being around animals can give. Though I'm not ready at this time to have my own pet, being with them for a short amount of time is enough to lift my spirits up and enjoy the day a bit more.

This photo is not of a dog I saw today, but it's just a really funny picture that always makes me giggle.

-A

Good Fortune

2010-03-13T10:49:00.000-08:00

Last night I had dinner next to Justin Timberlake. After eating my words from the previous blog, I opened this fortune cookie. At least the cookie believes in me. J Tims, if you are reading this, I think you are awesome. But I'm not enough of a super fan to interrupt your dinner.

-M

Pleasantries

2010-03-12T23:24:00.000-08:00

Today I called someplace to ask a question and encountered a very unpleasant person. My oh my, within her first sentence to me it was clear that she did not like her job. She was such a Debbie Downer, that she even made me feel miserable. I was very close to telling her off, but I stopped myself for then I would be just as much of a wench for being horrible right back at her. It's like the complete opposite of what happened to me here. It's funny how such a small encounter between strangers can sometimes have so much impact. Even though I may be miserable in my unemployed state, I still like to think that I'm at least pleasant to others as it can really make a difference.

-A

Brief Hiatus and new beginnings

2010-03-11T23:56:00.000-08:00

So you may or may not have noticed that I have been absent for about a week. While I was slightly unavailable because I was out of town for part of my brief hiatus, I also felt like I needed sometime to refresh. After A's computer had a melt down, and she was unable to post for a few days, I used it as an excuse to regroup myself. But here is the real reason I have been absent...

Last Friday, something happened to me that left me with a complete loss for words. (And that is truly what happened without trying to be overly dramatic.) LA is a place where the thought of meeting your idol while you're doing mundane tasks is not absurd. In fact, more often than not, if you are mildly interactive with the outside world, you will run into famous people on a somewhat regular basis. Unfortunately, more often than not, your star sightings include people and faces you may recognize, but ultimately they aren't anyone you really care about. They are still fun though. And of course, the unwritten LA rule is that you stay cool. You do not give direct or obvious eye contact, you do not talk to them, you do not take photos of them, and then you respectfully try desperately to nonchalantly whisper their name to your friend sitting next you, and then you play it cool. And you sure as hell don't say 'I'm a big fan, I love your work.' You would never want to be a considered a crazy fan, or lumped in with the TMZ paparazzi. After being in this town for a handful of years, I have seen my fair share of stars. But it wasn't until this past Friday that I actually allowed myself to react.

There I was, waiting for A to meet me at a Starbucks, when in walked my all time favorite musician. Musical genius was standing in front of me, waiting to order a coffee. I had already broken most of the rules. I stared. I smiled. I was probably gasping his name audibly. My hands were shaking. Then A walked in the door and was able to force me to get a hold of myself. As soon as I said the name she knew what was at stake. (She had heard me talk about his music plenty of times) I wanted to say something to him, but what? And how? I was frumpy and disheveled. Why would he want to talk to me anyway? I mean he just wants to get a cup of coffee and leave.

Then in the true spirit of this blog, and with the encouragement of A, I found myself getting up from my seat and walking over to him. With my hands shaking and no real thought in my head, I introduced myself. (I'll save the details of the encounter for my next post) After I had gone home that night, and even into the next day, I was completely high on my own courage. I was so proud of myself that I was able to break out of a shell and do something so completely uncharacteristic of myself that I couldn't sleep. I kept playing it over and over in my head and I kept thinking I could have said something better, or done something differently, because I had let opportunities like this slip away before. I once stood in an elevator with one of career idols; I mean they were the reason I am who I am today. But I didn't say a word because of a bunch of lame excuses, but mainly I lacked the confidence to just be open with someone like himself.

This blog, I hope, encourages people to be more open with each other and themselves, and while doing that we'll all be able to take in the world a little more wholly. I couldn't have gotten out of that chair if it weren't for A. She was there to push me to take the leap. I realize that saying hello to a celebrity is not an earth-shattering accomplishment. But if we all were a little less apt to stare at the floor and keep to ourselves all the time, maybe it wouldn't be such an intimidating act to tell someone what they mean to you or give someone a compliment. If your gut is telling you to do something, go out and do it! Don't wait around for someone else to tell you to do it! Just do it! But if they happened to be there at the time, and give you a little nudge, that's OK too.

Thanks, A.

-M

Respond!

2010-03-11T19:39:00.000-08:00

I do not like people who do not respond to my emails in a timely manner. Especially when I know you're not working and so are definitely checking your emails. Especially when I'm waiting for a simple answer. I will not think you're a loser for responding so quickly.

-A

Ha Cha Cha! I'm Back!

2010-03-10T18:43:00.000-08:00

Hello people! My computer is fixed, thanks to a new hard drive, so I'm back in action!

The good thing about not working is that I have the free will to choose when I do anything so to avoid such things as rush hour traffic or peak gym times. Today I went to the gym and, because I arrived right before it got really busy, took the last elliptical machine available. However, literally within one minute of scoring the most popular machine at my gym, I had to get off and choose another form of exercise. The reason was that one of the two people on either side of me, one slightly hairy older man and the other a girl who looked like she had been exercising for the past 3 days straight, was letting out a RANK odor (I'll let you be the judge of who you think gave out this horrendously foul stench).

It's always been my fear whenever a person gets off the machine next to mine that I am working up so much of a sweat that I'm driving them away. But after being on the receiving end, I am now vowing to wear deodorant whenever I go to the gym and think I smell even a tiny bit, or at the very least a little spritz of perfume (which actually works brilliantly).

-A

Stars

2010-03-04T22:38:00.000-08:00

Hollywood has been preparing for the Oscars for the last week, an event held at the Kodak Theater on Hollywood Blvd. These retro stars hang on a sign over the Roosevelt Hotel; the original location for the very first Academy Awards ceremony in 1929. Now they look down the street to the modernized procession of glitz and glam held on the red carpet below. Above them are the FBI's sharp shooters. Welcome to a post 9-11 world.

-M

energies

2010-03-03T22:30:00.000-08:00

Everyday I am aware of the fact that I am fully responsible for how I spend my time. I don't have a job pulling my focus from sunrise to sunset. What I do with my day is entirely up to me. It is wonderful and unnerving all at the same time. But one thing that keeps my attention everyday is this blog. The accountability of posting and connecting to you, the great internet void, is the hope that somehow the energy and positive thinking that A and I try to generate here will resonate with you. So thank you for allowing me to direct my attention and babbling thoughts toward something other than my laptop screen.

-M

Sharing

2010-03-03T20:43:00.000-08:00

"A tragedy shared becomes less of a trauma and more of a way to experience a new and deeper emotion that can lead to a better way to live." -Michael Gates Gill, "How to Save Your Own Life, 15 Lessons on Finding Hope in Unexpected Places"

This basically sums up what starting this blog has done for me, and I (and I'm sure M would agree) really hope you, the reader, can also see this as a place to share your random thoughts on how you're enjoying, or not enjoying, this world, may you be unemployed or not.

-A

the little things

2010-03-01T23:35:00.000-08:00

a special someone decided to surprise me with a little something special today. It included peanut butter m&m's and these lovely roses. So I guess my Monday was pretty good.

-M

Focus!

2010-03-01T22:05:00.000-08:00

I find myself getting so distracted whenever I have to work on a resume. It takes me so long to work on one and I always find myself going online doing something else. For instance, I just spent 45 minutes on facebook! I know I should just buckle down and get it done. Even now, I'm writing this blog to procrastinate working on my resume!

-A

On My Path

2010-02-28T21:58:00.000-08:00

The other day, I seriously considered going into a completely different field of work, one that would even require me to go back to school – lots of school. But then I reminded myself that I'm following my heart and that I set out to accomplish something (switch careers), knowing that it would be difficult (‘one must take the rough with the smooth’), and if I don’t complete it, I’ll always be wondering, possibly with regret. So I’m going to remind myself not to lose focus, that unemployment is not forever, and it just takes time to find the right job.

-A

Up Close

2010-02-27T21:16:00.000-08:00

I sometimes drive by this really cool building that's covered with these little tabs that flutter about when the wind blows. It looks like the wall is moving. Yesterday, I had the opportunity to walk by it and look at it up close, marveling at how many tabs there were. So many little pieces to make one large one.

-A

Signs

2010-02-27T14:12:00.001-08:00

Reminders on every corner... we are not alone in this.

-M

Daydreaming

2010-02-27T13:32:00.000-08:00

I forgot to post yesterday, I guess my head has been in the clouds. Not because of any real joyful news, but because I have my hands in a lot of different projects at the moment. I am still working on that schedule for myself. By the way... I took this photo an hour ago when it was beautiful and sunny. Now it is raining cats and dogs. El nino!

-M

Temporary Side Effects Include...

2010-02-26T00:25:00.000-08:00

I hope unemployment doesn't leave me permanently jaded, bitter and disenchanted.

-A

Support group

2010-02-25T18:45:00.000-08:00

I took this photo the other day when I was driving. Probably not the wisest choice, but I saw these adorable little guys walking hand in hand and I pulled out my camera. The little guy in the red was teetering back and forth, clearly not used to walking at such a quick pace, but he was able to keep up because of the help he had on either side. He trusted that they would hold on and keep him upright if he stumbled. Today I had a couple of friends hold my hand, and I am very grateful for their help. Sometimes we all need a little extra support along the way.

-M

Life Seasons

2010-02-24T13:45:00.000-08:00

"Sometimes in life seasons don't come in order; instead of fall, winter, spring, summer, we get three winters in a row. But that doesn't mean spring won't come eventually." - Kelly Cutrone

-A

Doors

2010-02-23T23:19:00.000-08:00

“When one door closes another door opens, but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.” - Alexander Graham Bell -

This post is dedicated to a certain someone who may have had a door close today, but I promise another will open.

-M

Wallowing

2010-02-23T21:33:00.001-08:00

Sometimes it's necessary to take a moment. Today I set aside 1.5 hours of my day to do just that. But at the end of it, I decidedly got out of bed, took a deep breath, and got on with it.

-A

Media Management

2010-02-22T22:19:00.000-08:00

Just got this 1 terabyte beast to take control of all the photos that have been clogging up my laptop - thanks in part to this blog. I have already lost one computer to poorly managed hard drive space, and I refuse to do it to my beautiful MacBook. Be ye not so stupid... always function with at least 20% of your boot drive available. (thank you Rick!)

-M

Time

2010-02-22T20:49:00.000-08:00

The passing of time is really only based on our own perceptions. Some days (like days where I have nothing to do but search for a job) I find to go by so incredibly slow! I really should relish these days, which is really the purpose of this blog, as it seems life just seems to zoom by. Other times, for example on days when I reflect on the months that I've been out of work, I can't help but think, "Where did the time go?? It's gone by so fast!" One one hand, I like when life goes slow bc then I can enjoy my days more, but then other times I just wish my day would be over bc then it's one day closer to the day when I will have a job. But time is constant, and it's really only the distractions in life (like work) that stop us from noticing when each hour passes. Funny how searching for a job is not a distraction.

-A

Happy Hour

2010-02-21T23:27:00.000-08:00

My family calls it toddy time. According to wikipedia:

The term originated in the United States Navy. In the 1920s, “Happy Hour” was slang for a scheduled entertainment period on board a ship during which boxing and wrestling bouts took place, this was a valuable opportunity for sailors to let off the steam accumulated during the long periods at sea. “Happy” in this context meant slightly drunk.

It's in these simple (and cheap) traditions that I can let off steam with a friend or two, and still feel like I have a life outside of job searching. I'll just skip the boxing and wrestling.

-M

Hugs vs. Handshakes

2010-02-21T20:09:00.000-08:00

Since when did a hug become the new handshake? It's not that I'm opposed to hugs or anything (quite the opposite really), but I don't really want you to invade my personal space if I don't know you. And as is usually the case, because you don't know the other person, the resulting hug is limp (just as bad as a weak handshake, which I talked about here) and really shouldn't qualify as a hug, but rather a body tap. I find it awkward. What's the point?

-A

Little Things

2010-02-20T22:47:00.000-08:00

Today I found this really neat store that sold all these British brands of food. But, alas, they ran out of what I was looking for (Garibaldi biscuits). So I settled on some amazing kettle corn. Oh, how it's the little things that can make my day!

-A

bit of color

2010-02-20T00:00:00.000-08:00

Just when I thought spring was in the air, the temperature dropped 20 degrees and the sky filled up with grim clouds. So here is a shot I took a few days ago of my lovely Valentine's Day flowers to remind myself that things will be bright and sunny once again.

-M

Reminders

2010-02-19T23:05:00.000-08:00

This is a huge plate-like piece that was in a store near my apartment. I thought it was cool and provided me with a bit of inspiration and motivation.

-A

Keeping in Touch

2010-02-18T23:28:00.000-08:00

In our unemployed state, sometimes it's easy to forget that we're an active member of society. It's so isolating and lonely looking for a job. You'd think with all the time we have on our hands now, we'd see our friends a lot more. Sadly though, we don't make it as much of a priority as searching for employment. That shouldn't be the case, as maintaining our relationships is crucial to our well-being, especially in times likes these. Today, I had a lovely afternoon tea with M and made a new friend, and it reminded me how important it is to regularly meet up with friends. It was productive, as we discussed our job prospects and vented our frustrations, and it gave me a renewed sense of energy and hope, which is such an important motivator. We even had our first, albeit unofficial, book club meeting.

-A

Water experiment update

2010-02-18T22:57:00.000-08:00

Some of you have asked me about my little water experiment that I blogged about here. I said I would report back if I felt any difference. Well I am sorry to report that the experiment was a complete and utter failure. Who is clear enough in the first moments of waking to chug a glass of water? What a terrible idea. Every morning I would just reach for the coffee and not even realize I didn't have my glass of water. So after a week, I just figured the game was over and gave up... and never fessed up about it. However, I have been more conscience of how much water I do (or don't) drink in a day. And the conclude always was... I can always drink more water.

-M

Summer in Winter

2010-02-17T23:34:00.000-08:00

With the weather in LA reaching into the 80's this week, it doesn't feel like winter anymore. So for all those who are trying to survive their own winter, please consider this quote I came across yesterday:

In the depth of winter I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer. - Albert Camus

-M

Which is Worse?

2010-02-17T23:20:00.000-08:00

Thinking that you totally aced an interview, but finding out that you didn't get the job, or knowing that you totally bombed an interview for a job you'd really want?

-A

Schedule

2010-02-16T19:07:00.000-08:00

When I first lost my job, I told myself I would at least go to the gym everyday. It would be something positive I could focus on, and it would get me out of the house. Well that happened for a couple of days and I quickly forgot about that priority. But I have finally admitted to myself that I am the type of person who will benefit from a set schedule of daily tasks. My goal now is to to create a weekly schedule and stick to it. When you have the entire day open, it's really difficult to divide your time and attention to different things when you base the dividing on how the mood strikes you. I never thought I would crave this kind of hour by hour structure, now I just need to find enough tasks to fill an entire day. First up... yoga.

-M

Comfort food or laziness?

2010-02-15T23:59:00.000-08:00

I live around the corner from a grocery store. A nice grocery store with plenty of healthy options for dinner. Instead of leaving my apartment to stock my empty fridge and eating like a normal adult, I ate Kraft macaroni and cheese. I braced myself for plastic tasting disappointment, but instead my heart was warmed with thoughts of college days gone by.

-M

Days

2010-02-15T20:53:00.000-08:00

I hate how the days tend to blur together when not working. Last week, I parked on the street and specifically made note that the sign said not to park on Thursdays for street cleaning. And I thought to myself, "Oh good, it's Tuesday. I'm safe." Too bad it was Thursday... I got a ticket! Blurg

-A

Happy Valentine's Day

2010-02-14T18:22:00.000-08:00

Whether you're celebrating or not, hope your day is filled with much love!

-A

Happy Valentine's Day

2010-02-14T17:59:00.000-08:00

Sending some sunshine to help you celebrate Valentine's Day! May your day be filled with loving thoughts from loved ones near by, or far away.

-M

Gung Hay Fat Choy!

2010-02-13T18:33:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow is Chinese New Year so, as is the custom, I spent much of the day cleaning. Out with the old, in with the new! Everything associated with the New Year's Day should represent good fortune, and hopefully the Year of the Tiger will bring lots of prosperity!

-A

Music

2010-02-12T23:33:00.000-08:00

I don't know what I'd do without music in my life. I'm trying to get out of a funk of late and music definitely helps. I'm playing over and over my favorite songs and, what I like to call, 'Reminds Me Of' songs: songs that remind me of certain memories, which usually brings me to a happier state of mind. I just read too that music has a host of other benefits, such as pain reliever (who knew that music can reduce chronic pain by up to 21%?), better grades, and developed interaction within the brain. Music rocks

-A

I'm back

2010-02-12T23:17:00.001-08:00

Back to the Mercantile for dinner. I can't get enough! I enjoyed a lovely glass of wine and cheese plate with my honey. (These two images were captured on the Blackberry in low light, so forgive the awful quality.) I feel like I am coming back to life. The cold/sinus infection that has plagued me for this entire winter (no joke) feels like it is finally leaving my body. And with it comes a new outlook on everything I hope. This end is just a new beginning.

-M

Sammich

2010-02-11T11:16:00.000-08:00

SIDENOTE: Ok, so I forgot to post last night because I was distracted with the movie Harry Potter The Half Blood Prince. Possibly one of the worst movies. It was a terrible adaptation of the book, and I am only saying that because it made no sense! I read just over 100 pages of the book and decided I'll just watch this one, and read the last book before I see the final set of movies. Well clearly, everything is explained in the book, but it does not make sense on screen for those of us who haven't read the book first. I can't believe I have to finish this book now. Ugh. Add that to the list.

OK back to the post: I had the best sandwich today at a local cafe/wine bar. Turkey breast, orange/rosemary marmalade, butter lettuce, roasted onions spicy mustard, havarti and avocado on a ciabatta bun. My mouth is watering now. Everyone in LA should go to The Mercantile on Sunset. And they served my water in a mason jar! How awesome is that? I should have taken a picture of the sandwich, but I was too busy shoveling it in my mouth.

-M

Nervous Waiting

2010-02-10T23:25:00.000-08:00

I am a ball of nerves and anticipation these days, so I tried to get my mind off of things by watching a whole bunch of eps of Ally McBeal (remember the dancing baby??) and a movie. It worked, apart from the other 15 hours or so of my day...

-A

Prism

2010-02-09T23:25:00.000-08:00

This is the view out my balcony this evening. The rain stopped, the clouds parted, and the most brilliant rainbow appeared. I'm still looking for the pot of gold though.

-M

We're Not Alone

2010-02-09T22:36:00.000-08:00

Job searching can be quite isolating and depressing. Especially in times like these when it's so difficult to get any progress on the countless emails and phone calls we make. Not too long ago, my dad told me that the unemployment situation in Hong Kong has gotten so bad that it's become a sort of revolution. As trying as these times are, it's nice to know that we're not alone.

-A

Sunny Days

2010-02-08T22:30:00.000-08:00

It's nice to be able to enjoy beautiful days, to not have to be stuck in an office, but instead outside doing whatever I please.

-A

Pink or gray?

2010-02-08T21:15:00.000-08:00

Is the gray cloud chasing the pink cloud? Or maybe the gray cloud is about to become pink? Or will the friendly pink cloud bloom into a full thunderhead storm cloud? I don't know. All I can do is appreciate the beauty while I can, and not fear for the future. If it's going to rain, it's going to rain. But maybe there will be a beautiful sunset in the process.

-M

Full bloom

2010-02-07T22:41:00.000-08:00

The bushes behind my boyfriend's place have suddenly burst into full bloom. I had remembered these flowers to be white, so I was surprised and pleased to see bright yellow flowers. It caused me to think, what other beauties in the world am I remembering incorrectly?

-M

Some Empathy

2010-02-06T20:24:00.000-08:00

Today I had a little taste of what it might be like to work in HR. I am part of a committee that awards merit-based scholarships to university students, and today we had to read and evaluate all the applications submitted. I had to read so many that it got to the point where they all started to sound the same and I got very adept at skimming through them. I can only imagine what it's like to have to filter through tons of resumes to determine who to call in for an interview. Especially when it's for one job, everybody is probably going to be exactly alike! How does one stand out? I understand even more now how important it is to make good use of your connections. Even still, they still should be calling me!

-A

After Thoughts

2010-02-05T23:47:00.000-08:00

I hate coming back from interviews because right when I step through the doors, I start over-analyzing the entire meeting. What could I have said better? Did they like me? What didn't I say? Did they like me? What should I have emphasized more or less? Did they like me? Argh, it drives me insane! And there's nothing I can do about it. What's done is done. Just got to keep my head up and stay positive. POSITIVE POOOWWWEEERRR!!

-A

NY day 4

2010-02-05T22:40:00.001-08:00

Think these buildings look familiar? Well they should be. Top one is the apartment building from "Friends" and the bottom is Carrie's stoop from "Sex and the City". Yes. I stalked out these buildings to fulfill all of my New York fantasies based on fictional TV characters. Was not hard either. Thank you Google. But I can't help it, they lived in awesome neighborhoods! I had to check it out to see if all the stories were true. And they were.... except for the 'No Trespassing' sign hung across Carrie's stoop. I guess one too many crazies like me stopped by to harass the current residents with photos.

-M

Dumb and Free

2010-02-04T23:19:00.000-08:00

My cousin and I always joke around saying we wish we could re-live the days when we were 'dumb and free', when our biggest concern was which Nintendo game to play (super mario bros 3 all the way) or where to ride our bikes. Who knows when it exactly happens, but it seems like all of a sudden, adulthood has whacked us upside the head and we are plagued with responsibility, filling us with anxiety, stress, and nights of insomnia. That's why I make sure to have a daily dance party to make me feel 'dumb and free', to remind me what it was like to be carefree and have no worries. What makes you feel dumb and free?

-A

NY day 3

2010-02-04T14:32:00.000-08:00

Bares bones.

Upper West side coffee and culture.

-M

NY day 2 continued

2010-02-04T11:32:00.001-08:00

Golden New York: St. Patrick's Cathedral, Grand Central Station and Oyster Bar.

-M

In a small dark jazz club

2010-02-03T20:13:00.000-08:00

It might be the city that never sleeps,

but she grumbles and groans

as the floor rumbles beneath me.

I can feel her breathing,

with a soft and even tempo.

Quick with anticipation,

the crowds converge below.

Tired feet, excited feet, angry feet

tread her avenues, streets, and boulevards.

She's cold and hot, and fueled by dreams.

I feel her pulse with the strum of the stand up bass.

Her melody is organized chaos.

-M

NY day 2

2010-02-03T16:38:00.001-08:00

Top of the Rock to freeze our faces off.

-M

New York!

2010-02-03T10:53:00.000-08:00

Day 1

Hello all! Mobile updates turned out to be a complete bust. For some reason, the images couldn't be sent over the phone. But here is what would have been sent.

Our first stop of the trip:

Opera at the Met! We saw the final performance of Turandot. It was breathtaking and everything you'd want an opera to be. Great seats, right?

-M

On a Walkabout

2010-02-02T23:12:00.000-08:00

The song is true: ‘Nobody Walks in LA’. And the distance, no matter how far, from wherever the car is parked does not count as walking. With such a lovely day, I decided today to take advantage of the fact that I live in a pretty central location, so I walked to the places I needed to go. Yay for sun, exercise, saving the environment, and music; I had the chance to look around and explore my neighborhood a bit more closely too. Yes, it did take me 3x longer than if I were to drive, but it’s not like I had to be at work or anything…

-A

Lending a Hand

2010-02-01T21:20:00.000-08:00

I have a lot of time to think nowadays. And I’ve been thinking about how I want to spend my time and what I want to accomplish. Volunteering is a great way to spend a day. I felt great today because I knew that I accomplished something meaningful. I’m advancing a worthy cause, serving the community and helping to educate people. Also, in a period where it’s easy to feel unwanted, volunteering makes you feel valued and appreciated; it gives you a sense of achievement. It’s also a great way to expand your network. I know somebody who found her current job through a volunteering opportunity. So think about it.

-A

Dim Sum - Yum Yum!

2010-01-30T22:00:00.000-08:00

Today I decided to take the long trek out to Monterey Park to have dim sum at a new restaurant. I am a very satisfied person today.

-A

Human Connection

2010-01-29T21:35:00.001-08:00

Facebook really is a brilliant invention. Today I caught up with somebody with whom I went to high school and very likely would never have seen again if it had not been for social networking. It’s so easy nowadays to lose touch with people, which is very strange considering how much easier communication has gotten over the years. I find it really sad, especially when sociality is the heart of human existence. We’re all just trying to form connections with people. So it's my hope that, with the development and expansion of social networking, the friends we make today will still be our friends in years to come.

-A

Which is Worse?

2010-01-28T22:26:00.001-08:00

Sometimes I don’t know which is worse: a rejection from a prospective employer or not getting an answer for days that quickly turn into weeks. On one hand, when you are given the thumbs down, though you feel like a complete loser, at least you know. On the other hand, when you don’t know anything, or sometimes with an answer that they haven’t made their decision yet, it gets so frustrating! But as the weeks go by, you start to lose hope and you cease following up. Yet there is still that tiny glimmer of hope you keep in the back of your head. Maybe, just maybe, there’s still a chance. Either way, this is when I turn to chocolate.

-A

Change of scenery

2010-01-27T22:12:00.001-08:00

One of the great things about in between jobs in the age of internet and blackberries is that you can continue the job search anywhere. So I packed a suitcase. It's time to get out of town and explore. I'll be blogging with mobile updates so you can join me while I play hooky for a long weekend.

-M

A Simple Act

2010-01-27T18:56:00.000-08:00

I had to go to the doctor's office today, and as I walked into the lobby, the security guard asked if I needed help finding where I was going. I told him which office I was looking for, and he directed me in the right direction. Now I wasn't in the best of moods today, but the way this man was so helpful and the cheerful way he told me where to go, was just so lovely! It was such a simple act, and he probably thought nothing of it, but it completely changed my day. "How beautiful a day can be when kindness touches it." - George Elliston

-A

the burn

2010-01-26T19:33:00.001-08:00

Hit the gym for the first time since... who knows how long. It was packed with people. Typical for a January. People are still sticking to their resolutions. So it made for a hot, stinky mess. And that was just fighting for a spot in the parking lot. But I made it through a pretty decent workout. I took it easy, but I will feel it tomorrow for sure. I hope this helps me to get up and out of the house during the day, preferably the morning, so I can get it over with. That way I don't have to battle the after work crowd. I really have no more excuses for not going everyday.

-M

Quote

2010-01-26T17:35:00.000-08:00

“Do not waste yourself in rejection; do not bark against the bad, but chant the beauty of the good.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

-A

Tennis

2010-01-25T22:32:00.000-08:00

With all the hoopla about the Super Bowl, it’s given me pause to think about the role sports play in my life. I love tennis. It can be one of the most emotionally draining sports, but it’s great fun, good exercise and you can really get to know someone just by playing with them since the atmosphere around a tennis court is usually very chill and friendly. I love how sports push you, physically and emotionally, and how much determination and hard work you have to put into it. It’s taught me to keep focus on the game, and focus on each point as it’s played – don’t dwell on the previous point because it will affect the next point. Tennis has taught me to take this same approach to job hunting. Focus day by day, just as you would with each point, and don’t dwell on past missteps like failed interviews or else your game will go down. Let's just hope I'm at match point...

-A

View from my apartment

2010-01-25T20:41:00.001-08:00

The circus is in town!! No, just some sweet fumigation going on in the condos behind me. I am very unmotivated and uninspired today. I blame the killer headache that started when I had my coffee too late in the day and has lingered into the evening. But doesn't the photo make you want to juggle? Or ride a unicycle?

...maybe the fumes have gotten to me.

-M

Waking Up

2010-01-24T23:42:00.000-08:00

I think one of the worst and most irritating sounds is the alarm in the morning. But even in my unemployment, as much as I hate waking up to an alarm, I do still try to wake myself up at a decent hour every weekday morning (though I admit that it never really works as I am not by any means a morning person). But no matter, Sundays are still days generally reserved for a nice lay in, a day where I can stay in bed until noon and feel no remorse. At least nowadays on the weekdays, I have the option to snooze for however long I want.

-A

On a morning walk

2010-01-24T21:28:00.000-08:00

I have a small story today. I wasn't sure if I should tell it, because it's ultimately about my shortcomings. I'm not even sure what the conclusion is, but here is a piece of a story that I hope gives you a moment's pause. There is a church in my neighborhood that I sometimes attend with my boyfriend. To get there from my place, you have to cross under the freeway. Under the overpass, there are usually a few people camped out with their makeshift beds of cardboard, and their shopping carts parked nearby with all their worldly possessions. When I'm approached, I am hesitant to open my wallet, but I make a point to look them in the face and say "I'm sorry" if they ask me for money. On this particular morning, there were two people; a woman who was sleeping, and a younger man who was sitting on a piece of cardboard. Unlike the woman near him, he had no piles of clothes or debris near him. He didn't look up at us, or even ask us for money as we passed. Ironically (or maybe not so ironically), the sermon today was about the good Samaritan. I couldn't help but feel the twinge of guilt that we didn't say anything, or do anything for the people we had passed. Then surprisingly (or maybe not so surprisingly), the same man ended up attending the service. As we walked out of church behind this man, I noticed that he had one the church's bibles in his pocket. He awkwardly tugged at the sweatshirt he had tied around his waist, hiding the protruding book. I assumed that he had just stolen a bible from church. But why? Why should I assume that this man hadn't already been to this church or another church, and was given this same bible at some other time? Why should I assume that just because a man is dirty and sitting on the side of the road, he would steal something? And even if he did steal it, is it really a crime if a troubled man steals a bible? Sometimes I am aware of my surroundings more than most people, and yet I do nothing. So I challenge you, dear reader(s), if you are hesitant to reach out to a stranger, or sometimes lack the courage like me, at least be lacking in judgement.

-M

Sensible shoes

2010-01-23T21:12:00.000-08:00

I went on a very long walk around the Hollywood Reservoir today. When we stood on the dam over looking the lake, we could see the Hollywood sign in the background and on the edge of the water there were two deer nibbling the grass. (Unfortunately, I didn't have my camera with me!) Who knew that Bambi and friends would make such a lovely home in the Hollywood Hills? After hiking around for just under two hours, I was peaceful, but exhausted... and cursing my choice of footwear. I love you and hate you All Stars.

-M

2010-01-23T17:51:00.000-08:00

Since it was the first sunny day in a week, today I took the opportunity to go somewhere I’ve never been before and discovered so many other people outside. Whether they were playing with their kids on the beach, walking their dogs, biking, or just sitting out in the sun reading the paper, they were enjoying the free time they had, which was exactly what I was doing.

-A