Dim Sum - Yum Yum!

Today I decided to take the long trek out to Monterey Park to have dim sum at a new restaurant. I am a very satisfied person today.

-A

Human Connection

Facebook really is a brilliant invention. Today I caught up with somebody with whom I went to high school and very likely would never have seen again if it had not been for social networking. It’s so easy nowadays to lose touch with people, which is very strange considering how much easier communication has gotten over the years. I find it really sad, especially when sociality is the heart of human existence. We’re all just trying to form connections with people. So it's my hope that, with the development and expansion of social networking, the friends we make today will still be our friends in years to come.

-A

Which is Worse?

Sometimes I don’t know which is worse: a rejection from a prospective employer or not getting an answer for days that quickly turn into weeks. On one hand, when you are given the thumbs down, though you feel like a complete loser, at least you know. On the other hand, when you don’t know anything, or sometimes with an answer that they haven’t made their decision yet, it gets so frustrating! But as the weeks go by, you start to lose hope and you cease following up. Yet there is still that tiny glimmer of hope you keep in the back of your head. Maybe, just maybe, there’s still a chance. Either way, this is when I turn to chocolate.

-A

Change of scenery

One of the great things about in between jobs in the age of internet and blackberries is that you can continue the job search anywhere. So I packed a suitcase. It's time to get out of town and explore. I'll be blogging with mobile updates so you can join me while I play hooky for a long weekend.

-M

A Simple Act

I had to go to the doctor's office today, and as I walked into the lobby, the security guard asked if I needed help finding where I was going. I told him which office I was looking for, and he directed me in the right direction. Now I wasn't in the best of moods today, but the way this man was so helpful and the cheerful way he told me where to go, was just so lovely! It was such a simple act, and he probably thought nothing of it, but it completely changed my day. "How beautiful a day can be when kindness touches it." - George Elliston

-A

the burn

Hit the gym for the first time since... who knows how long. It was packed with people. Typical for a January. People are still sticking to their resolutions. So it made for a hot, stinky mess. And that was just fighting for a spot in the parking lot. But I made it through a pretty decent workout. I took it easy, but I will feel it tomorrow for sure. I hope this helps me to get up and out of the house during the day, preferably the morning, so I can get it over with. That way I don't have to battle the after work crowd. I really have no more excuses for not going everyday.

-M

Quote

“Do not waste yourself in rejection; do not bark against the bad, but chant the beauty of the good.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

-A

Tennis

With all the hoopla about the Super Bowl, it’s given me pause to think about the role sports play in my life. I love tennis. It can be one of the most emotionally draining sports, but it’s great fun, good exercise and you can really get to know someone just by playing with them since the atmosphere around a tennis court is usually very chill and friendly. I love how sports push you, physically and emotionally, and how much determination and hard work you have to put into it. It’s taught me to keep focus on the game, and focus on each point as it’s played – don’t dwell on the previous point because it will affect the next point. Tennis has taught me to take this same approach to job hunting. Focus day by day, just as you would with each point, and don’t dwell on past missteps like failed interviews or else your game will go down. Let's just hope I'm at match point...

-A

View from my apartment

The circus is in town!! No, just some sweet fumigation going on in the condos behind me. I am very unmotivated and uninspired today. I blame the killer headache that started when I had my coffee too late in the day and has lingered into the evening. But doesn't the photo make you want to juggle? Or ride a unicycle?

...maybe the fumes have gotten to me.

-M

Waking Up

I think one of the worst and most irritating sounds is the alarm in the morning. But even in my unemployment, as much as I hate waking up to an alarm, I do still try to wake myself up at a decent hour every weekday morning (though I admit that it never really works as I am not by any means a morning person). But no matter, Sundays are still days generally reserved for a nice lay in, a day where I can stay in bed until noon and feel no remorse. At least nowadays on the weekdays, I have the option to snooze for however long I want.

-A

On a morning walk

I have a small story today. I wasn't sure if I should tell it, because it's ultimately about my shortcomings. I'm not even sure what the conclusion is, but here is a piece of a story that I hope gives you a moment's pause. There is a church in my neighborhood that I sometimes attend with my boyfriend. To get there from my place, you have to cross under the freeway. Under the overpass, there are usually a few people camped out with their makeshift beds of cardboard, and their shopping carts parked nearby with all their worldly possessions. When I'm approached, I am hesitant to open my wallet, but I make a point to look them in the face and say "I'm sorry" if they ask me for money. On this particular morning, there were two people; a woman who was sleeping, and a younger man who was sitting on a piece of cardboard. Unlike the woman near him, he had no piles of clothes or debris near him. He didn't look up at us, or even ask us for money as we passed. Ironically (or maybe not so ironically), the sermon today was about the good Samaritan. I couldn't help but feel the twinge of guilt that we didn't say anything, or do anything for the people we had passed. Then surprisingly (or maybe not so surprisingly), the same man ended up attending the service. As we walked out of church behind this man, I noticed that he had one the church's bibles in his pocket. He awkwardly tugged at the sweatshirt he had tied around his waist, hiding the protruding book. I assumed that he had just stolen a bible from church. But why? Why should I assume that this man hadn't already been to this church or another church, and was given this same bible at some other time? Why should I assume that just because a man is dirty and sitting on the side of the road, he would steal something? And even if he did steal it, is it really a crime if a troubled man steals a bible? Sometimes I am aware of my surroundings more than most people, and yet I do nothing. So I challenge you, dear reader(s), if you are hesitant to reach out to a stranger, or sometimes lack the courage like me, at least be lacking in judgement.

-M

Sensible shoes

I went on a very long walk around the Hollywood Reservoir today. When we stood on the dam over looking the lake, we could see the Hollywood sign in the background and on the edge of the water there were two deer nibbling the grass. (Unfortunately, I didn't have my camera with me!) Who knew that Bambi and friends would make such a lovely home in the Hollywood Hills? After hiking around for just under two hours, I was peaceful, but exhausted... and cursing my choice of footwear. I love you and hate you All Stars.

-M

Since it was the first sunny day in a week, today I took the opportunity to go somewhere I’ve never been before and discovered so many other people outside. Whether they were playing with their kids on the beach, walking their dogs, biking, or just sitting out in the sun reading the paper, they were enjoying the free time they had, which was exactly what I was doing.

-A

Rainbow Chasing

Today I went rainbow chasing, just on a lark. The rain is starting to let up here in LA and while I was driving on the freeway this afternoon, there was a part of a rainbow peeking out through the clouds. I tried to take a photo of it, but that’s not such a great idea when you’re driving on the 10 freeway in the rain. As we kept driving, the rainbow seemed to get bigger and bigger, and it was just so pretty with the hills in the background. Soon, it really seemed like it was over the entire city, so I tried to get to a decent place to capture it. Unfortunately, like all things, including unemployment, it did not last but it was sure a beauty while it lasted. It's a nice reminder that though it may rain for days and days, there will surely always be a rainbow and we'll eventually capture it on this crazy quest we're on.

-A

Searching for rainbows

Oh the ups and downs! This week has been full of both. Maybe it's the rain, maybe it's this time of year, maybe it's because this job search is starting to feel like a marathon. Every time I turn a corner, I think the end will be in sight, but the road just keeps on going.

With a whopping check for $26, the first round of my unemployment officially came to a close this week. I am officially extending my benefits for round two. I honestly never thought I would have to file an extension. I thought there is no way I won't find a job before the end of six months! Well, I said that a long time ago. I have to mail the extended claim form this weekend. Every time I approach the mailbox I have to pause and think about what I am doing and what I need to do differently.

Today I just became overwhelmed with these questions and was somewhat paralyzed on the couch most of the day. Just when I was about to give in to the fatigue and take a nap, a phone call from a friend sort of jolted me out of my trance. Then I received the following text message from my man: "Amazing rainbow outside my house." That was enough to snap me out of it and out I went to visit the world again.

I missed the rainbow, but through a light drizzle I was able to see this: the hint of a faint pink sunset that LA has not seen for week. I just need to keep remembering that no matter how long it rains, I will see the sun again.

To all those running the marathon with me: keep your heads up, we'll get to the finish line.

- M

Tea Time

Afternoon tea while listening to the dribble of the rain. Need I say more? Oh and there was some reading involved. As much as I thought I wanted to speed things up today, instead, I slowed things down. You can slow down too... if you look closely, you can see my reflection in the tea pot.

-M

Isn't it one of the best things when a song you really love comes on the radio or, for those living in the 21st century, when it starts to play on your iPod playlist? I love having my own little dance party when that happens. It can be such a nice reprieve from a tough day or something that makes it that much better. It's like receiving a little gift.

-A

Savoring the last drop

With the nibble of a possible interview, my mind starts racing. I become overwhelmed with questions met with equal anxiety and excitement. Have I accomplished enough? Am I ready to go back to work? Will they pay me enough? Will it be a step down? What if the people there are awful? Will I ever have another day off so I can finish what I started doing here, there and this other thing? Will I be happy? Then I think I should calm down and realize this could be nothing. But what if it's something? It's amazing that with all this time I have had to myself, and after all the days, weeks, months of insecurity, unrest, self-doubt and worry I could actually miss this time in my life. I know I can't be an unemployed drain on society forever, but I can't help appreciating the focus this time has given. And the ultimate reality is that this time is running out...

-M

What is this clear liquid falling from the sky here in LA?

It’s days like these that I’m actually glad I don’t have anywhere to go. That I can stay at home looking like a minging wreck in my sexy oversized sweatshirt and sweatpants while it’s raining buckets and cold and miserable outside. I’m glad I don’t have to deal with my shoes getting wet, damp clothes, or frizzy hair. Instead, I’m comfy and warm at home. I thought this was funny: "It's nice to see everyone getting blown rather than just the casting directors."

-A

Looming clouds

With a very brief break from the rain, the sunshine came through long enough for me to capture the the looming rain clouds over the Hollywood Hills. Ten minutes later it was pouring again. It will be like this for two more days. And I love it. I plan on being very cozy with a good book, maybe some scrabble, plenty of hot beverages and some chocolate chip cookies. Maybe I'll get a little work done. But if I don't, it's OK. Why? Because it never rains in LA and I figured I should savor the opportunity to be domestic when I don't have to call in sick to do so.

-M

I Want a Personal Chef

You’d think with all this additional time on my hands, I’d be enjoying lovely home cooked meals every night for din din. Yeah, right… It seems that my eating habits have gone down the tubes. I now have more time to eat and snack on nutritious foods like chocolates and ice cream (they DO say that chocolate is good for you and ice cream is dairy! I’m just taking extra care to make sure my body has enough of these food groups). But I find I have no patience to cook! I do not like the time it takes to prepare a single meal for myself. I just watched ‘Julie & Julia’ and I wonder how in the world did she find time to make all those meals?? I have all the time in the world, but I can’t even bring myself to spend more than 10 minutes in the kitchen! Maybe I should’ve taken a photo of my microwave today…

-A

Urban Heartbeats

Just after rush hour, the traffic leaving Hollywood on the 101 fwy dies down significantly. People have already arrived at their after work destinations, or have made it home, and cars coast along at speeds over the limit. Tonight I wanted to capture the ruby red traffic lights, but the traffic was sparse enough that I didn't get the red streamers I thought I would. Instead, I captured an eerie, ghost-like impression of tail lights, head lights, and street lights that skipped along like little heartbeats.

-M

Happy MLK Jr Day

Today is Martin Luther King Jr. Day. I’m celebrating today by remembering the efforts of a single man, the positivity of his message, and that we have yet to fully realize his dream.

-A

Rainy LA

While listening to the pitter patter of the rain, I played a difficult game of Scrabble and waited for my Crock Pot lasagna to finish. Up next... eating and watching the Golden Globes with the option to fast forward through commercials or any awkward speeches. Not a bad way to spend a Sunday.

-M

C'mon, Get Happy

It can be said that the hardest part about being unemployed is keeping a positive outlook. Isn’t it funny how in times like these people tend to become withdrawn and downtrodden? The smart thing to do would be to do just the opposite: open ourselves to new experiences (hence, this blog) and new people, do the things that make us happy (we surely have the time to enjoy them now), and spend more time with family and friends. Enjoying close relationships is the number one predictor of happiness. So go on and get happy!

-A

Privacy

Today a friend and I were talking about how it’s a bit creepy how much information you can find on somebody using the internet. I mean, you can find some really personal stuff! But with great power comes great responsibility. You can, however, use it for good. I basically become a wee stalker whenever I have an interview. Unless his name is something like Bob Smith…

-A

Water Experiment

This morning while enjoying my cup of coffee, I wondered why most people (including myself) don't drink a full glass of water right after waking up. You haven't had a drink in about 7 to 8 hours, shouldn't you be reaching for a hydrating beverage first? So in the spirit of being healthier, starting tomorrow I will drink a full glass of water as soon as I get up. Then I will have my morning coffee. I'll try this for a week and report back if I feel any different.

- M

Time travel

I was having a discussion with a friend about time travel. He mentioned that if given the chance to travel back in time, we would all want to go back and visit ourselves at some point in our past. Aside from the obvious money-making advice, i.e. stock market hints or winning lottery numbers... everyone would want to go back to a troubling moment in their lives and offer themselves some hope. Our future self would tell our past self not to worry, it will get better, and that there is survival. So thought I would blog as if my future self came back to 2010 to leave a message for me...

Chill out. You are not your work. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't work hard. Keep moving forward, you'll get there eventually. Think of unemployment as recess. It's not forever and you need this to get your concentration back on track. Embrace this time. Before you know it you'll be wondering why you were so anxious to start working again. You will find another job, and you will adjust. Just keep your eyes open, your head up, and your feet on the ground. Stay positive and focused and the rest will fall into place. Oh, and stop with the excuses about the gym. For my sake, please just start going now, OK?

- Future M

Perspective

Sometimes the earth sends messages that remind me that the world is much bigger than the tiny bubble I inhabit. I can be a Debbie Downer about my unemployment status, but considering the recent earthquake in Haiti, I really don’t have it bad. I have running water, I have food, I have shelter, and my family is healthy. And I’m able to try to pursue a career doing something I love. Today the sun was shining.

-A

Literary Thoughts

One book down, one more to go so I can be up to date on my required list of "certain books" for a "certain application". Today marks the first book that I have read cover to cover while unemployed. That may seem rather unimpressive, if not lazy... but I assure you, I have started nearly a dozen books since being jobless. I blame it on guilt. How can I have time to sit and read when I need to be looking for a job? But then after a few hours at the computer I think, wait, how can I be aimlessly surfing the internet for a job when I could be getting to all those books I want to finish! I mean, when am I going to have the time to catch up on my reading? Certainly not when I am working full time! And so the cycle goes... until today! I shall not be afraid to read for a few moments during the day if the mood strikes me. Now is a time for learning, for growing! I may have even worked out a book club through this revelation...that means you, A.

-M

The Urge to Splurge

Our ideas on how to spend our money seem as individual as our fingerprints. Some splurge on spa days, while others indulge themselves in electronics and/or apparel. Today at lunch, some of us (ie. me) decided to splurge by getting dessert. In the past this may not have seemed to be a big deal, but these days (as in 'I have no money' days), even a meal out is a luxury. There are many ways to spoil yourself without breaking the bank; we just have to remember to actually do it once in a while because even though we are miserable and unemployed, we can still enjoy life.

-A

Motivation

It’s really hard to stay upbeat and motivated when you’re unemployed. Today was especially hard for me. Maybe it’s because I’m just getting back into the swing of things after a month long holiday from anything work-related. Plus, it’s really depressing to sit alone in your apartment scouring the internet and constantly checking email all day. I had to force myself to go to the gym a bit earlier than usual and to take a walk around my ‘hood to keep my sanity, to interact with people and to get outside. Tomorrow is another day – but it will be a good one. Oh yes, it will...

-A

Homework

After filling out a certain application for a certain program, I happened to note that I thoroughly enjoyed certain books... only those certain books I have not finished reading. However, I did honestly enjoy the first 15 pages of those certain books when I started reading them 2 years ago. Now that I have time on my hands, and may soon get a call about said certain application, I figured that I better have read said certain books by then. So, today I read a chapter in the middle of the morning. I just sat down on my couch and opened up a book. This is an event that has never occurred... on my couch, or any other location in the middle a Wednesday while not on vacation. I kinda liked it. Tomorrow's assignment: finish the book.

-M

Sidewalk Office

Today I spent the golden part of the afternoon at a cafe around the corner from my apartment. I was actually accomplishing some work on a project I hope to complete while on this period of joblessness. It's amazing how easy it is to forget that this kind of beautiful daylight exists when you are stuck in a 9 to 5 world. I felt the sunshine warming my jeans, and the breeze on my face, and I wondered why I don't come here everyday.

-M

Get a Grip

My unemployed status has pushed me to get out of my comfort zone and network. Just last night, I was in a setting where I was shaking many hands and noticed how many different kinds of handshakes people have. I think a handshake is an important aspect of the first impression; it conveys confidence and power. One of my pet peeves is a weak handshake. It's like shaking hands with a corpse (and sometimes I might as well be speaking to one). In my opinion, it signals apathy, doesn't project a very strong character, and can actually weaken that first impression. It's a simple gesture, but it can mean a lot.

-A

Tools

These are two essential items in the Unemployment Survival Kit. Wine to ease the pain of boredom. Blackberry to stay connected and maintain the illusion that a job offer will come through any minute now. You also look like you still have a job when you pull it out to text/email in public. It's all about keeping up appearances and having a bit of fun in the process, right?

-M

Unemployed but Fit

I never thought I'd be the type of person to regularly work out at a gym. A bunch of sweaty people crammed into an enclosed funny smelling place. Ugh, no thanks. But I guess this is one change unemployment has introduced to my life. I am now a card carrying member of my local gym, and I must say it has been a positive change. I feel more fit, it helps with my state of mind and, sadly, it gives me something to do. Also, with my lack of cable, I can also keep up with my top CNN news headlines, Sportcenter commentary, and daytime talk show guests - all at the same time.

-A